Theories on bringing up our children...

We could view child bring up in many ways... Ofcourse the loving parent is probably the best image parents have of themselves. A much more balanced view of the situation can provide alternate insights. Based of some of my initial thoughts ( which are in the making). Here is my take at it.

Before getting into the details, please don't get offended by the comparison to animals. Surprisingly the fundamental principles of "bringing up/protecting a innocent, dependent life" and methods used are very similar.

1. Lion in the Circus - More aptly the lion cubs in the circus are taught to obey the rules from the very early childhood. They learn to forget the immense power that they would posssess as adults, although at this point in time they are weak. They learn the tricks of the circus lions. They are threatened with punishment for not obeying and rewarded with pieces of meat for obeying. The lion is brought up alongside with other lions that are "compliant" and reinforce the rule. They forget their true strength. Don't learn to hunt by themselves and hence live a dependent life. Their food is taken care off. The "dependent life" works well as long as the trainer is able to maintain the walls (rather cages). What happens if and when the walls fall apart; We too as children were brought up with rules (manners, discipline) and taught skills (science, engineering, medicine, business, sports, reading, writing). The conflict people find at some point of time is when the skills and rules fails them - like the once respected mechanical engineers losing out to computer science engg. and once respected bankers relplaced by BPO employees. Many of the archiac religious practices and rituals (tricks) are increasingly questioned and replaced with mordern thinking. . As lions in the cages can never take care of themselves in the wild when moved suddenly and will probably die of hunger.The fundamentalism in some sense is because of the denial. They want to keep the circus running because it is too painful otherwise. The movie Matrix captures the conflict. We have created a world where we keep contests (exams, sports) to measure capabilities for doing "tricks". However, once the circus looses its attraction, the results are painful. Typically the most vulnerable segments of the humans - women, children and poor are the most affected. They are dominated by rules and left out when it comes to care.
2. Farms Animals - Some kids are brought up as farm animals. The metaphor here is again that the animals are fed and protected, but may not be loved. Families are provided. Not much nuturing is done. It makes the animal dependent on the farms - an artificial setup. They are treated like humans in a "Matrix" - once the job is done, they are disposable for gain. As long as they are producing they are wanted and the moment they are let off or sold or eaten. The parenting is seen in poorer nations with large number of kids and is also some form of slavery. Their life stages are predetermined and "expectation" is that they produce for the family in return for protection, food and (lack of) guilt. Multiple forms of slavery, caste system and philosophies exist in various forms over the history of humankind. Traces of which still exists in parts of the world.
3. Pets - We love our children as we do our pets. Or atleast we assume that. We "provide" them food, love, care. They provide us unlimited love and companionship. But the problem is children grow. In all likelyhood, the pampered kids grow up depending on the pampering expect the same from their spouse, friends and society at large. But the society they would face is probably not going to provide the stroking they were so dependent on. As the generation passes on, this pampered kid gets frustrated with life and society. Perhaps the wealth will passed on. However, may not necessarily learn to manage and grow the wealth. Some pets do have to learn some tricks but mostly nothing to do with conducting their lives on their own and hence will be dependent on the society that increasingly ignores them.
4. Lions in the wild - For lions in the wild life is hard and dangerous. They have to fend for themselves early in the life. There are not much rules. But the rules that exist, exist only as a protect your life - like don't attack a angry bison or a poisonous snake. Every meal has to earned. No guarantees for the future. Life ends when the next gen takes over. Is this a parenting style or theory work in real life? Is it painful? Does it help your children prepare for a better future? I'm not sure. However it is a interesting metaphor.

We all live in a world full of rules, measured by the success and wealth or by mastery of skills or by applause from the fellow humans. But the real human is hiding somewhere wondering why he is doing what he is doing...